A Part of the Family
June, 2001
I didn't know him and yet I knew him so well. Carroll O'Connor,
born in the Bronx as my husband was; raised in Queens as I was,
pursued a career we would follow for just those reasons.
Later, after playing judges and prosecutors, detectives and fathers,
he came into our lives as part of the family. Then, we all knew
him and used the character he played in "All in the Family" as
a point of reference:
"You
want to know my father? He's Archie Bunker." We'd laugh, knowing
this person was raised by an opinionated, hard-working man who
would defend his family, church, union and country to the death
all with strong loyalty and a convoluted sense of telling right
from wrong. There are men in our own families we didn't see as
often or know as well.
But, that was Archie. It's Carroll O'Connor who died. O'Connor
was a soft spoken man of keen intellect, deep faith and a dedication
to his craft. His wife, Nancy, was his loving and constant companion
for just shy of 50 years.
He was totally different from Archie and in the years following
the final episodes of "All in the Family," we would see O'Connor's
range, most recently playing a barkeep grandfather in "Return
to Me." Not until these later performances could we see what a
stretch it had been for the actor to bring Archie to us, complete
with the rolling eyes of a bigot and a distinct Canarsie accent.
His personal life became public when his only son died, a loser
in the war against drugs. Young Hugh O'Connor, on a straight course
into a losing battle, took his own life before so-called mind
ameliorating drugs dragged him down into oblivion.
The older O'Connor knew his son wanted out of his addiction and
he also knew that at Hugh's lowest moments during recovery, the
drug dealer would come around. It happened over and over.
A very angry O'Connor named names, shouted accusations and didn't
care who heard him. We saw this furious father take his place
in court when the dealer sued him for slander. After two years
of delays and appeals, the judge threw the case out of court.
Only occasionally would we see Carroll O'Connor, most often in
suit and tie, always dignified, a smile, a wave, but no longer
that sparkle in his blue Irish eyes.
What is the story here? Are we mourning this actor for who he
was and where he came from? Or, are we mourning the character
he played right in front of us at home, not at the movies, not
on stage. He played Archie broadly but not as a cartoon. We all
knew a real live "Archie." Just as political correctness was something
to think and talk about, O'Connor's Archie was a fully blown example
of what not to do, what not to say. He brought it all out into
the open but apparently didn't realize it wasn't there all along
as "common knowledge." He'd start in, we'd hold our breath and
our tongues as well, but oh, how we'd laugh.
"Everybody
knows," he'd start a line -- but, no, Archie, everybody does not
know nor think the way you do. Just you.
Inside the character of Archie Bunker was a caricature of Archie,
himself. The role was so perfectly played it was like the virtual
reality programs popular decades later. We were voyeurs peering
into the Bunker's place in Astoria.
We never had a chance to mourn Archie Bunker -- because he never
went away. Reruns of the popular television show will go on forever,
around the clock, around the world. For generations viewers will
see there was a time some of "All in the Family," was in every
family.
Carroll O'Connor, the neighborhood boy whose stellar career we
followed, is gone. We hardly knew the man once Archie took over
his life. And so it is that now, even in death, it's Archie we
thank for the legacy.
|
